One Week

For those of you who were wondering, I didn't fall off of the face of the earth or like die or anything. I'm still here, I just have a severe case of writer's block. I wasn't planning on ever posting this thing that I wrote, but I decided I might as well....and I didn't have anything else to post, so...haha.

One week and it will have reached two months. One week and I’ll have come closer to seeing her again. One week could have made a difference. One week without her adds more pain, tears and hurt. One week; seven letters, seven days. One week could’ve let me see her smile one more time. One week could’ve allowed me to apologize. One week destroyed lives. One week sprung tears. One week is too short. One week causes me to yearn for her more and more. One week broke my heart. One week brought surprising news. One week people gathered together. One week I used a friend’s shoulder to cry on. One week I lost a friend. One week I died with her. One week she left. One week I cried out to God. One week I’ll see Abby again.

A love so deep. A sacrifice so great. A man who came willing.

Pink and purple streaked across the sky, trying to prove that the day was supposed to turn out well, but the voices, the events made it seem otherwise. A large balcony, high above the ground, was the center of attention. An immense crowd of people stood below and around it, waiting silently for the main event to reveal itself. Quiet murmurs could be heard as a man, wearing white, stepped out for all to see him. Another man, his hands bound behind him, was shoved onto the balcony. A hush came upon the crowd. The man in white, known as Pilate, pulled the other man towards the banister rimming the edge of the parapet. Pilate looked out upon his people and cried, "I have found no charges against this man! I will punish him, then release him to you!" Pilate was sure the people would cheer or at least be silent. The reaction was opposite and defining. "Barrabas! Release Barrabas to us! Away with this man! We want Barrabas!"

Pilate's face proved the shock he felt. His heart sunk. "Barrabas?! Barrabas is a murderer! This man has done no harm! Why would you want a murderer above a miracle worker?"

Pilate begged loudly, but to no avail. With fists raised, the crowd shouted, "Crucify him! Crucify him!"

Pilate closed his eyes and breathed in deeply. Slowly, he lifted his finger towards the man who was called Jesus. "Take him away."

Two soldiers grabbed the man's arms and dragged him from the balcony. The crowd roared. Pilate lifted his hands to direct the crowd to silence. Growing quieter, the crowd listened intently to Pilate's words. "He is gone. I now release Barrabas to you." Pilate turned his back to the crowd and walked out.

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The soldiers did as they wished with Jesus. They whipped him, they beat him, they spit at him. His back was torn and bloody. What flesh was left on his back, barely covered the muscle and blood that seemed to blanket the man. They placed a crown of thorns upon his head, readjusting it so the thorns would pierce the man's flesh. They stripped him of his clothing and left nothing but a dirty cloth around his waist. They placed his cross upon his shoulder and forced him to carry it to the hill where he would die.

Tears streamed down Jesus' face. He collapsed. Before the cross could fall upon his back, Simon of Cyrene stepped from the parting crowd and caught the beams of wood. He lifted it upon his own back and carried it up the hill for the man.

Jesus was prodded forward and slumped along, supporting himself with his arms every few feet. Men tried to comfort the woman and children who were crying out to Jesus. Jesus stopped moving and turned to the women, saying, "Do not weep for me.....weep for yourselves....and your children....."

When they reached the top of the hill, the cross was laid out and Jesus was thrown on top of it. They stretched his arms out across the wood. Large nails were hammered into his hands, attaching them to the cross. They did the same to his feet. They lifted the cross, propping it up so all could see Jesus, the supposed king, die.

On either side of Jesus were two criminals, who were to be crucified also. Jesus lifted his head and looked lovingly at the two men. He then looked up to the sky and prayed, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing...."

The soldiers sneered at Jesus, casting lots for his clothes. People called out, "He saved others; let him save himself if he is God's Messiah, the Chosen One!"

Soldiers shoved a sponge with wine and vinegar into Jesus' mouth, crying, "If you are the King of the Jews, save yourself!"

Jesus was saddened, as he looked upon the men who were sinning. He looked at them with love in his eyes. His Father's creations, the ones who he was dying for, were mocking him. They would never discover the true love, the true meaning of His death. Their bodies would reside in Hell forever. Jesus looked out upon the people. His people. Compassion filled his eyes, tears steamed down his face.

One of the others hanging upon the cross called out to him, "Aren't you the Messiah?! Save yourself and us!"

The other criminal rebuked him, "Don't you fear God, since you are under the same sentence?! We are being punished justly! We are getting what our deeds deserve! But this man, the Messiah, he has done nothing wrong!" he then looked at Jesus, "Jesus, please remember me when you come into your kingdom."

Jesus smiled and answered, "Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in paradise."

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Noon had come and darkness was cast across the earth. When three o'clock rolled around, the sun had stopped shining. The curtain of the temple was torn in two. Jesus cried out, with his last breath, "It.....is......finished!"

The centurion watched in awe, as realization came to his mind. He praised God and said, "Surely, this man, was a righteous man."

A man came and took Jesus' body. He buried him in a tomb, which was vacant.

To Be Continued....

I know that this was not very well written, but I felt like it was time for me to share this with you guys. This story means so much to me and many other believers. I don't understand fully how Jesus could love us SO much, that he would willingly give himself up and die....for us! I wanted to separate the resurrection from the crucifixion when I wrote this, that's why it will be split into two parts. Basically everything that was said by someone in this was taken directly from Luke 23, but I did add some words and change it around a little bit. Otherwise, the not dialogue was written by myself.....:p

God Bless,

Angela

Death.

I am running out of amazingly, stupendous blog post ideas, therefore, this post will be a jumble and mix of my garbled thoughts. I hope my mass amount of slightly uncommon and brainy words don't mess up your ship-shape minds. I would feel gravely if I did so.

After that quite odd, but neat introduction, I shall tell you of a thought that keeps racing through my mind, always pushing ahead of the other "unworthy" thoughts. Death. Do we feel death, when it comes upon us? If we are shot, would we feel the pain or plainly wake up in Heaven, with angels looking down upon us? If we were stabbed, would we feel the cold of the blade? What does it feel like to be strangled or hanged? These unnerving questions engrave themselves into my brain, causing them to jump at me during the most unwanted times. I try not to arouse them, because I hate unwanted questions frolicking across my empty expanse of mind. I cannot help myself though. I search desperately for answers, but I know that no one can give them. No one knows.....

After such a disconcerting paragraph, I feel exceptionally hunky-dory. My informal ticker feels blithesome. (I may have used that word wrong, but it seemed fit for the situation.)

In the recent month, music has been....everything to me. My mind and heart has been engulfed in the melodies and lyrics of wonderful artists. Different lyrics and tunes ease my internal, emotional pain in many ways and basically fill me with jubilant jollity. I've been listening to a small number of songs recently, but those few songs have added to my comfort and cheer. Those songs are:

Zero by Hawk Nelson

Already Over by RED

How to Save a Life by The Fray

Apologize by OneRepublic

It's Not Over by Chris Daughtry

I guess all of these sort of relate to recent happenings in my life.....it's painful for me to talk of these "things" but I talking of them is the only thing that can help my through the turmoils of life. Since Abby passed away, I've listened to these songs for specific reasons, all relating to the same topic. I'll elucidate at this time.

Zero, I would rather not bring to light, I'd prefer if you would just listen to that one on your own.

Already Over is by RED. RED was one of her favorite bands and the song is the only one I have of the artist....

How to Save a Life....well, it says....."Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend, somewhere along in the bitterness and I would have stayed up with you all night had I known how to save a life"...I expect that they can explain how I feel....

Apologize...well, that's a tougher one to talk about. See, I feel, for me at least, that it's too late too apologize for some things I may have said that could have hurt her....

And It's Not Over.....the title states the meaning of this song....it's just....yeah....I don't really have anymore words to use to describe.....

Now, my heart is overwhelmed with grief as I think about these things. I am listening to these songs as my fingers type this. My heart cries out....for a friend, for....you know, I don't really know what my heart is crying out for.....I pray continually about it, as the Bible states I should....but....I still feel a gaping hole in my heart....the pain that I'm feeling is like no other. At times all I can do is cry. At times the pain hits me like a wall of brick....because both obviously hurt immensely.....I just don't.....understand.....why she had to leave......

I know as I go through this pain that God will always be by my side....helping me through the thick and thin. The tough things of life......

Angela

Could it really be this boring?

It is December 29th, 2010, extremely close to New Year’s Day; 4 days after Christmas; finally up to 50 degrees and I am bored out of my mind?!

I feel bad for the friends of mine who have e-mailed me recently, because since I am bored, I type as much as I can, to get myself to do something, rather than staring at a screen waiting for a new e-mail.

I feel bad for my mind, which I keep racking for new blog post ideas, which fail to show.

I feel bad for my dog, of whom I keep asking ideas.

I feel bad for….this sentence, which has no meaning…..

Yeah….I’m all out of ideas now…so this post just lost it’s hilarious touch….if it even had any….

I think I’ve lost my hilarious touch…..(I did have one right?)

I could bore your minds with hockey stats, but then….you’d be bored and I couldn’t let that happen. I mean, my most adoring fans bored?! What would happen to my reputation?

I’m really failing right now. I am laughing at myself. For my stupidity.

You are laughing right now. At my stupidity.

I am ashamed. Because of my stupidity.

Okay, I’ve lost it. This is the stupidest blog post ever. With emphasis on the ever.

Now I’m blank. I have nothing else to say, yet I’m still typing. Why? Because I think you’re being entertained, but you’re actually saying in your mind, “And she wonders why she doesn’t have a lot of followers?”

Yeah….this is dumb….you can give up now on me, which might just be a good idea, or you could just go on reading…and reading…and reading….but please remember that I have nothing else to do…just type…and type and type….

Feel the pain of my e-mail contacts.

Okay, this is….hilarious!!!! HAHAHA! No it’s not…I’m dying here….but I’m tempted to keep typing. I’m telling you now to stop reading this…this is awful. AWFUL! Help me….WAH!!!! WAH!!!!!!!

What has happened to me? My mind is mush….me. The creative one. The imaginative one. The….12 year old. HAS RUN OUT OF IDEAS!

Death to me. That’s all I have to say. Ugh…this is dumb. My fingers will me to type, but my mind is pleading me to stop. My mind is on its knees, begging. With puppy eyes.

Okay…this isn’t even funny anymore. I’m done.

Wait…no I’m not…because I can’t stop typing. I’m so very sorry. I shouldn’t even hit the publish button when I’m finally done with this idiotic display of myself. Yes, I am a boring person…I’m sorry….:( I will try harder next post to humor you. If there is ever going to be a next post….

AHHH!!!!!!!!! I’M DEAD!!!!!!!! Just kidding….

Okay…that joke was nowhere NEAR funny…ugh…again, I apologize for this post…*hangs head in shame*

I can’t wait until school starts back up….EEP! Did I just say that?! No. I didn’t. I typed it. Hahahahaha! Get it?! I didn’t say it! I typed it!!!!!

Okay, now I’ve really lost it….

I’m done now. Done. DONE!

I don’t even feel like saying ‘Over and Out.’ so…………uh….

DEATH TO PRAYING MANTIS’!!!!!!

Just kidding. Those things are cool. (but very scary. Actually terrifying. They eat each other.)

Under and in.

Angela

Brain Freeze

I have an awful brain freeze. Not the kind where I eat too much ice cream, but the kind where my brain actually freezes up. (metaphorically of course.) I can’t think straight and definitely not write straight, so I feel as if I cannot say anything, (or type it) but I can and I can’t. This confusing concept is not doing good on my already muddled brain…ugh..

I will do another random writing thing….I am not thinking about anything my fingers are typing, I just let them type and let my mind run wild, causing my fingers to dance gracefully.

My fingers tingle with excitement. I am tired and sick of writing. My mind wills me to stop, but my fingers keep moving, gradually slowing….

and this isn’t working….

I do have a funny thing though:

If a doctor tells a patient, “You are slowly dying.” It means they are quickly dying, because we are ALL slowly dying, that means that they are dying faster than us….

yeah…okay…

Angela