Important

I'm not sure how to state this problem....

I'm not sure if I should use euphemism or if I should bluntly say it.

I'm not sure why it happened or how.

Yesterday was a tough day for me.

Yesterday was a tough day for her family.

Yesterday was a tough day for the friends around her.

Her name was Abby.

She took her own life yesterday morning.

I don't understand how someone so young could feel so much pain and hurt that she would kill herself.

She was only thirteen.

She was funny.

Her smile cheered people up.

Her laugh was distinct.

People loved her and cared about her.

Why did she do it? Could I have changed something? It's my fault.

When a friend commits suicide, that's what you think, right?

That's what I thought at first.

We had a youth group prayer time last night for people to talk about it and try to understand.

When I got there I broke. I pulled my friend, Justine from the room so we could talk.

I realized, it's not my fault.

There was nothing I could have done.

It was in God's plan this whole time.

I couldn't have changed that.

It still hurts. It'll hurt for a while.

I know though, that I should be blaming myself, I couldn't have changed something.

But why did she do it?

She had friends bawling last night.

Why would she leave us like this?

I see that we should be rejoicing because she's in Heaven with her Father.

So why I am I crying?

It's part of the mourning process.

She was a good friend.

God Bless.

Angela

PS I'd like you all to listen to Zero by Hawk Nelson. I listened to it probably 40 times yesterday. It helped me through it better.