The Never-ending, Mythological, Bearded Mayhem

After years, decades, centuries, myths die away, feeling lonesome and left behind. Some myths have lasted longer than others, some are well known but have been changed into many outstanding variations, some of which I like and dislike. Very few myths last longer than a decade, let alone a century, or should I say twice or even triple that!

Santa Claus. One of the longest myths known by mankind. Commonly believed by young children, Santa Claus (Kris Kringle, Father Christmas, St. Nick…etc. etc.) visits your house on Christmas Eve (through your fireplace) and leaves presents under the tree. Most children will leave out cookies and milk for Santa, and occasionally “special” children will leave out carrots or celery for the reindeer.

Now that you know about the man and the myth, here are some tips:

1. Keep in mind that if Santa Claus, as big and fat as he is, can fit down your chimney, any robber could do it. Be careful.

2. If you are giving your children permission to leave cookies and milk laying around for “Santa Claus” might I add…*ahem* YOURSELF, then don’t complain when you realize that you have mice problems.

3. Have you ever heard that “sneeze” downstairs on Christmas Eve and figured it was just the dog? Santa Claus is allergic to pine needles. Next time set up a video camera to see your spouse sneaking around the cookies.

4. Make sure your children can’t see you when you and your spouse exit your bedroom to leave presents from St. Nick under the tree. The sight of seeing their parents in the hallway with large garbage bags in the dark is not comforting. They actually find it quite funny that their parents actually try such stunts. (I speak from past experience.)

5. Glass ornaments are not the best idea for your tree. Children will rampage to the tree in the morning, causing catastrophe. Husbands/Dads/Men are blind, so when they try to organize presents the “right” way….well, let’s just say….sometimes it ain’t so pretty.

That is about all I have on Santa Claus, so I’m sorry….

Over and Out.

Angela